THE MOST DIFFICULT…

For days now I have been trying to find the right words--- the ones that truly express how I am feeling……My Most Beautiful and Loving Mother has passed away to be with my Dad in Heaven….. I am angry that she is gone…hurt….lonely….confused….relieved….scared…troubled….sad……broken.

My mother’s passion in life was taking care of family. Before she had children she was a cosmetologist…..love to cut hair…that was her thing!!!! But more then that---with her family was ALWAYS first and foremost… the second she became pregnant with me---she gave up the life that she loved to raise and care for and love and guide her children. She was a stay at home mom….. She never stopped cooking, cleaning, loving, laughing, smiling and do all she could to make her husband and children comfortable and happy. She had the heaviest Spanish accent—if she was mad some people could not understand her….. I love the way she started to speak English at home but it always ended in her speaking Spanish….Of course Spanish was my first language---and it was spoken always in our home. She was such a perfect partner and wife to my Dad----always taking care of his every need….always being the ultimate  hostess for parties at our home…family reunions.

They loved going to dances in the various clubs and associations they belong to-I have some beautiful memories of just watching them dance together---they fit like a pair of gloves-They always looked so sharp dressed up and dancing and did not care what was going on around them---they just danced… they also loved playing canasta….. and to highlight the evening my mother arguing that my dad cheated…..they loved it…they were never angry at each…but it almost seem to be a ritual.

I will so miss her accent----I will miss her calling me my brother’s name ---two kids and never could keep the names straight. She took care of my dad’s mom since I was in high school until the day she died some 28 years later. My Mom’s parents both had passed away by the time she was 10 years old….so her older sisters raised her. I will miss her talking about her sisters---I called them the mini ones---My mom was the tallest of her sisters—and she was only 5 feet tall maybe. I will miss her cooking immensely—that was her way of showing love---cooking and more cooking…she loved to feed people. I admired her Faith in God…it was constant unfailing and just poured out of her for all to see. I always said that God made my Mom an angel on earth to do what she does for others and just stay the humble and loving person she was. Her favorite sport was bowling----she belonged to several leagues throughout the years…won sooooo many trophies and patches…I loved it all…I always thought the bowling balls were too heavy for her—but there she was doing here lil approach and throwing that huge ball and striking away---just amazing!!

After my father passed away---it hurt to see my mother—her smile seemed forced—she just wanted to be with him---he was her life----she felt so alone…Well Now She Is With Him—Dancing in the Heavens……

I Will So Miss Her More Then Mere Words Could Express….I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!!

June 9th 1922- July 23rd 2013